The One Where I Complain About My Weight

I feel like every few months, I do the same exact post. The one where I complain about my weight. So brace yourself, here it is again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

For the past few months (or really years, not including the time that I lost 10 lbs for my wedding before I gained it back), I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated about my increasingly larger clothes. Yes, I’m healthy. Yes, I might not even be technically overweight. But a lot of my clothes don’t fit and I don’t want to deal with it any longer. I’m sick of seeing pictures of myself where I don’t like how I look. I’m sick of dressing in workout clothes all day because the amount of real clothing that I own that fits is limited. And I most certainly don’t want to buy a bigger size. (Plus the whole no job thing isn’t very conducive to shopping anyway.)

Some people preach moderation. I wish that worked for me. But it doesn’t. I eat pretty well. I exercise. I am basically the definition of moderation. But it’s not working for me. I don’t know if, at age 33, I can blame it on my metabolism, but it’s definitely harder to maintain a certain weight now than it was when I was 27. And I drank a lot more back then too. Actually, I take that back. I’m maintaining my weight just fine. It’s just 20 lbs more than it was back then. 20 lbs (or even 15) more than I feel comfortable with.

I’ve come up with a plan though and hopefully it will work. I tried not to get too strict because I knew that I wouldn’t follow it if I did. Here’s what I’ll be doing:

1. Limit added sugars. I know from past-experience that the pounds almost fall off when I give up the white stuff. However, I have a pretty serious sweet tooth so it’s hard for me. This means giving up eating dessert every night, which I had been doing. Granted, the desserts were Skinny Cow (low calorie) ice creams and the like, but they were full of sugar.

2. Limit white flours. See above.

3. Add protein. Being pescatarian, a lot of my calories come from carbs.

4. Have a “cheat” meal if the occasion is deserving of one, but remember that not all occasions are. What I mean by this is that if I’m at a new restaurant and there is something that I really want to try, have it. If I want frozen yogurt once a month or so, that’s okay. But I don’t really need to be stuffing my face with Goldfish because someone has a bowl of them out.

There was another one, but I don’t remember what it was. So that’s my plan. What I won’t be doing is counting calories. I believe that’s an effective weight loss plan for some people, but not for me. And it’s not because I get obsessive about it. It’s because I’m too lazy. I’d rather follow an “eat this, not that” type of plan that do math. There’s a reason I don’t have a math degree. (Although, I’ll have you know that I did get an A in the one math class that I took in college.)

Dinner last night was “on plan”, if you will. I had turbot (pre-seasoned from Trader Joe’s) and creamed kale.

Let’s face it, there’s no real way to make creamed vegetables look pretty. It tasted good though. Although, if you were going to make this, I’d advise you not to use a blender. My food processor bowl broke and I’ve been too lazy to order another one so I figured I’d just blend it. Umm, no. Didn’t work. I have a mini-food processor attachment to my blender and ended up using that, in batches, which was a pain. The end result was good though.


The fish was pre-seasoned with Old Bay and although I like Old Bay (I’m a Maryland girl, after all), it kind of made it too fishy tasting. Point noted.


And now for something that has nothing to do with weight loss, but I thought was funny. I was reading Heather’s blog yesterday and she posted a picture of her dog Harper. (Picture here) Harper and Murphy are upside-down twins. Need proof? This is Murphy.


I promise they are two different dogs! They don’t even look that much alike when they’re right side up. But it’s so funny that they both lay on the couch like that.

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30 Responses to The One Where I Complain About My Weight

  1. Yep, welcome to my life. I did however buy a size up in jeans and I feel like a normal person because I can wear something other than yoga pants. It makes all the difference!

  2. I know the frustration. I think you’ve got a really good plan in place though, especially for this time of year.
    Something that really helped me was lifting weights. Before I never felt like a strength workout was as beneficial as cardio, but I think weights help burn and tone.

  3. Reading this post was like reading my OWN THOUGHTS. I can identify with you 100%. I too lost 10 lbs for my wedding, and then gained it back (plus a few more). I exercise all the time- that is not my issue. It’s the food thing- being mindful and what not. I hate calorie-counting, but sucked it up and joined Weight Watchers a few weeks ago and have lost a grand total of 2.2 lbs in 3 weeks. It’s a little discouraging, but it’s my reality.
    I know what it’s like to always wear work-out clothes because your cute clothes feel tight- I’m totally with you. You know that you are healthy and strong and no one would look at you and think that you are “fat”- but the only thing that matters is that you feel comfortable in your body.
    Hang in there girl- know that you are NOT alone.

  4. Amen to every word, except for I’m totally willing to up a pants size if need be, not only for comfort, but it just looks better on me! I fluctuate between two, occasionally three, sizes so I have a plethora of clothes for what works for that day. :)

  5. Having a written plan is a HUGE help. Sugars were always my downfall too. Have you tried xylitol? It’s so much better in baked goods than Stevia and it’s how I make breakfast muffins and cookies that aren’t sugar bombs.

    Also, I swear by a weight routine. More muscle means you burn more calories throughout the day! Like you said in one of your goals, more protein is a must.

  6. I can totally identify with this post. Due to a minor over-use knee injury, I’ve had to take the last few weeks off from nearly all of my favorite gym classes (bodypump, body attack, bosu, etc). This, combined with lots of heavy foods and sweets, has left me feeling flabby and lethargic. And while I haven’t gained any weight, I’ve definitely lost muscle.

    Today is going to be my first day back to regular workouts, and I’m so looking forward to getting back on track. For me, I find that I eat much better when I’m getting in hard workouts.

    Like you, I’m technically a healthy weight, but my “happy” weight is about 10-15 lbs. less than I weigh now. I’m looking forward to following along with your goals!

  7. Sooo I was about to tell you how I lost approx 15 lbs on what I like to think of as a non-diet, lifestyle change (I think I’ve mentioned it to you before). But you said you don’t want to count calories, so hm.

    But it’s honestly the only way I’ve ever managed to lose those stubborn lbs that I hated to see in pics and in how my clothes were starting to fit. I’ve never been the weight or the size pants I am now and honestly never thought I’d see it in this lifetime. But here I am, happier than I’ve ever been, and still eating (and drinking) what I want – and I’m in my 30s now too (damn metabolism!). For me, I have always hated the concept of dieting because it immediately puts things on “good” and “bad” lists, and I hate feeling like I can’t have what I want, it always made me feel deprived and so unhappy.

  8. I am feelin’ this post. It’s not easy to feel uneasy in your own body, especially remembering how great you felt at a lower weight. The “no income or want to buy the pant size I should be in” aspect isn’t a help either. I find myself hiding out in yoga pants a lot these days as well. I think you are very self aware however, and having that plan should help. Now just stay strong and stick with it!

    p.s. Grady is so rarely on his back. I’ll try to snap a picture if I can to add to this photo gallery!

  9. You can do it! You said yourself, that you know what works and what doesn’t. it’s just the motivation that’s hard. And having to buy a new wardrobe seems like GREAT movtivation to me (I’m cheap!)

  10. I could have written this very post myself. To a T. I am going to email you some more thoughts…but I completely and utterly have felt this very same way, obviously, and it is VERY frustrating. Your plan does sound good though and is totally achievable. You got this!

  11. Don’t speak such Old Bay blasphemy! 😉 I will eat Old Bay on just about anything!

    And, amen to the diet plan. It’s amazing what some healthy changes in the diet can do for you, especially when you are already active! I think I’m going to have to cut down the wine…

  12. I feel the same way. I just want to feel confident again. I like your plan, I may join you.

  13. Wow, this post is similar to the one I just wrote. And you have a similar plan to mine as well (that I didn’t post). I can’t count calories again. I just can’t. When I was on WW, I was such a weight-obsessed person, I couldn’t stand it. I like your ideas here. I know for me, I need to stay away from foods that are high in sodium. Not only do they cause me (severe) bloat, they also make me sick (soy sauce is the worst).

    I am changing my exercise. Are you thinking about that too? I am going to fully incorporate weight lifting into my regime. I’ve never fully got behind it, but my boyfriend (who is trained) created a plan for me, and I’m already feeling a tad better.

    I want these clothes to fit too, dangit!

  14. Maybe you, me and Kacy should start an email support group. Just sayin’.

  15. I’m the same as you, weight wise. I maintain that weight…15lb more than it should be. *high fives myself*

    3 weeks ago, I increased my water intake from 30oz or so a day to over 100 oz and ended up losing 5 lbs in a couple weeks. So maybe drink extra water too.
    (of course, that weight is back. Thanks thanksgiving. )

  16. I have those same thoughts running through my head almost daily. Except I know exactly what I need to do – basically your first two items – and just can’t bring myself to do it. At least I know who to blame!

  17. I really like what you said about having a cheat meal if the occasion deserves it, but keeping in mind that not every occasion IS deserving. I have such a hard time with this. It’s so easy to think “Oh, well it’s a birthday/party/victory/whatever. I have to have cake/icecream/pie/brownies covered in whipped cream to celebrate. Not every happy event needs a celebration with food.

  18. Your plan sounds very reasonable to me. You don’t want to do anything that will drive you crazy, but you also don’t want to be uncomfortable in your body either. You know where to find me if you need anything. And I would be down with doing a “training session” with you to hand out once. It would just be a matter of finding where to do it since I know both our gyms wouldn’t “allow” a training session that wasn’t their own training to happen. Regardless, I’m here for you!

  19. Gawd, I hate that weight can turn intelligent, beautiful women into unhappy, slightly miserable women (I should know…happens to me all the time). I’m wishing you good luck because I know you want to lose weight not because I think you need to lose weight. Because from your pictures, I think you look pretty good :)

  20. I feel you, Lee! It is SO much harder to lose “that extra _ lbs” once you are over 30. I know for me, so much of it is strength training and of course, diet (including less alcohol, and I love my beer).

  21. I agree with limiting sugars…that stuff is the devil for me!

  22. I totally agree with you!! It seems like I can exercise everyday, eat REALLY healthy food with a few treats here and there, and the weight somehow creeps on. Not a lot, but enough where it frustrates the heck out of me because in my mind, I’m not really doing anything to gain weight. I think I eat too much sometimes, but it’s always on “good for you” foods. And I’m genuinely hungry when I eat it! So it’s a tough battle to fight. But you’re right – it’s different for everyone and different things work for everyone. But I think your plan sounds solid and realistic. I have the worst sweet tooth – a meal isn’t complete for me without something sweet – so I feel your pain there!

  23. McKinley sleeps just like that too!

  24. Having a consistent weight lifting routine has really helped me, I see a lot of other people have written that too. Go to the gym at odd hours so you don’t feel insecure as you are getting used to your lifting routine – I used to feel like an idiot walking into the weight room until I got the hang of it.

    Also – I am so right there with you with sugar. And my problem is I LOVE to bake. This time of year is especially hard. I talked to a trainer about it last year (having a sweet tooth) and he said protein always balances out sugar.

  25. yay for you girl stick to it

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